The design dream

I've been making a lot of custom jewelry lately, and I always spend a long time during my design process, but its even worse for custom orders, because I'm so anxiety ridden over everything being perfect. I'm not sure what is normal as far as time goes, because I've never watched anyone else in the design process before. I know mine can be frustrating at times, but it can also be inspired design, and sometimes I even exceed my own expectations, which probably aren't as high as they should be, because for some reason my brain seems to be programmed with a cap on what success I can achieve or what goals are even appropriate. I suppose this is because of the fact that there are many artists in my family who have struggled, so it was as if growing up, to want to be an artist or anything in the arts industry would be a huge gamble and a waste of money, an unattainable pipe dream, and therefore I just wrote myself off as not quite talented enough. Which is really sad. Because now I look at some of the things that I created, on my own, designs born 100% (or at least 90%)  from my own imagination, and I practiced everyday in being creative, to think outside the box, to do something different, and I think maybe that worked pretty well for me so far. I haven't had the opportunity to get any training at all yet. I have design ideas coming out of the wazoo, but I don't have the tools in my toolbox yet that are needed to execute them...when I do have them...watch out cause I'm going to be taking the jewerly world by storm!  In the meantime, I'm going to just keep plugging away and doing custom orders, and maybe one day my higher aspirations will be realized and maybe they won't be, but this design dream is mine to own now, and I'm not going to be hanging it on the shelf anytime soon.  : )